Sunday Night With PBS!!

Way back in 1976,  Harry and I started watching The Pallisers on PBS.  We'd get the kids in bed - the kids at that time were Bonny and Harry - and we were living in Harris' house in Centerville.  They had a lovely finished basement with a nice big - for that time anyway - television - and we'd snuggle on the couch to watch the weekly episodes of the famous Anthony Trollope novels.

We loved it - I even bought the complete set of the novels the series was based on.  And never read a one of them!!  I actually got rid of them last year.  Don't tell any of my English major friends!!

You may wonder why I share this.  Well, someone has my number - and sent me an email that the complete set of the series - in DVD - was available at a discount!  I could not resist.

Pardon me while we watch episode 1 - I will let you know how it was!!

End of summer reading

I guess my summer reading schedule is coming to a close.  Phoebe was talking about reading 52 books in 52 weeks.  I'm at 26 books for this year, so I'm a bit behind.  I don't dare start another book until after school starts - I have a tendency to get wrapped up in a book - and I read when I should be doing other stuff!!

So I finished Bel Canto this morning.  I have started this book 3 or 4 times - and just never seemed to be able to get into it.  Then I read 3 other books by the author - and they grabbed me right away.  So that gave me the resolve to stick it out - and the 3rd or 4th time was a charm!!

One of the elements of this novel that is so compelling is the role of language.  One of the characters is a translator - and after the group of hostages is finalized, it turns out that they speak several different languages.  The translator becomes essential to all of them - and the story seems to grow from there.

The fact that they are in small groups that cannot communicate well with one another impacts the development of the story - and the inter-relationships of the hostages.  Two romances that develop have characters who cannot speak each others languages - love grows through shared experiences - in one case the love of opera and in the other the desire to learn not only a new language, but to learn to read and write.

If you haven't read it - give it a look-see - and let me know what you think!!

For now I'm going to start re-reading Mr. Midshipman Hornblower - I noticed that on the cover of my copy there is a quote from Ernest Hemingway, "I recommend Forester to every literate I know."

Seems like a pretty good recommendation!!

In a big family - there are "little kids!"

Don't you love the juxtaposition of these two photos??

72 years

Today is my parents' 72nd wedding anniversary.  They were married on August 17, 1940 in Huntington Park, California.  After their wedding, they drove to Salt Lake City where they were sealed in the temple.  I think it was 3 or 4 days later.  They did things differently back then - they thought it was not fitting for a young unmarried couple to drive all the way to Utah alone!!

This photo was taken in Los Angeles  on Sunday, April 17, 1938.  Ruth MacMurrin was the photographer!!

I love everything about this photo - the buildings in the background, my mother's dress, her hair do, my dad's suspenders - and the white shoes!

And I love everything about my parents and their long, productive years together - they would have been married 60 years the year he died.

Happy Anniversary to a great pair of parents!!

What I just read -

It was a warm day today - and that's an understatement.  I was also up late last night.  So when I flopped on the couch to read this, I promptly fell asleep.

But that's okay - since I was then rested enough to wake up and read it all they way through in practically one sitting - a great way to read a book to my way of thinking.

A few months ago, Betsy posted about it, so when it showed up at our book fair, I bought it.  Read a few pages, put it on the shelf, and promptly forgot about it.  (I have a large collection of books that fit that description!!)

Then last night, as I enjoyed a late night chat with Leslie, she mentioned her book group was reading it.  That's why I picked it up today.

It is a great read - I think I may read it to my students when school starts.  It's about a girl with cerebral palsy who has an intact brain - and really understands everything going on around her - but she can't walk, talk, feed herself - and can't explain her thoughts and feelings to others - though some of those around her try to understand her needs.

Then she gets a Medi-Talker - a computer that will speak for her - and her life changes.  For good and bad.  It's a very well-told story about prejudice towards those who are "different."

I won't spoil it - but you - and your teen or tween should read it too!

Reading and watching some more!!

So I've been on an Ann Patchett kick - just finished this last night.  It was her first novel.  It is completely different from her other books - but then the amazing quality about her is that all of her books are so completely different from each other.  This one is compelling - takes place in the late 60s and moves forward to the early 80s.  The back stories are intriguing, the threads of the stories are interwoven quite tightly, and the ending is something of a surprise.  It takes place at a former grand hotel in Kentucky that has become a Catholic home for unwed mothers. She is quite prolific, so I guess I will be busy for awhile.  I'm starting next on Bel Canto - the first Ann Patchett book I'd ever heard of - and one I've started several times!!  Which seems strange, since the others have captured my interest right away.  I'll let you know how it goes!

 

For the last few months, Harry and I had been trying to figure out who we'd lent our Hornblower DVDs to - with no luck.  Then we get to Phoebe's last month, and she hands me a stack of books to take back home with me - there's Horatio on top!!

We were so excited to finally find them, we sat right down when we got back and started watching them - and they were as great as ever!  When we first watched them, we started reading the 11 volume set of Hornblower novels - and they were great too.  I suspect that since I had seen the movies, as I read the books, I was picturing the characters the way they were on-screen.

So when we finished on Sunday night, I asked Harry what the next one was and he told me that we'd just watched the last one!  "How can that be?" I exclaimed.  "What about Lady Barbara and Maria's death and the children?"

I suspect that I had internalized the novels so completely, I thought I'd seen them!!

I was keenly disappointed - and I wish A and E wanted to keep on with the series!!

I can dream.

And re-read the novels I guess!

Over the years -

The day of Lyn's missionary farewell - 1962

 

Christmas - 1971

 

Mom and Dad's 50th Anniversary party - 1990

 

Dad's funeral - May, 2000

 

Mom's 90th celebration - 2010

Watching and Reading

Phoebe handed this to me the night we arrived in Portland - and it was a library book, so I had to get busy and read it!!  It was a pretty compelling read - about scientists in the Amazon jungle - but don't let that discourage you - I sat up until 2 a.m. one morning to finish it!!

 

These are photos of Ernest Hemingway and his first wife Hadley Richardson.

 

Don't you love the clothes?

 

Bonny handed this one off to me - it's a novel, but heavily based on facts and writings of Hemingway, Hadley Richardson and others - like F. Scott and company -  a good read also.

Phoebe had a pile of books for me to take home - some to Kyle M - so I had to get this one read so I could return it to him.  A compelling story once more - about mistaken identities and stalking and famous people - and a good read.  Let me know what you think!!  I had started the Ann Patchett novel Bel Canto a few years ago and could not get into it - needless to say I will try again!!  Phoebe commented that all of her books are so different.  And they are - but they have a great story as a common denominator!

 

Figured I needed a book to read on the flight home - so picked this up at Target.  The cover said, "If you are having Downton Abbey withdrawal, you need to read this!" It was a good story - a lot like watching Downton Abbey!!

Phoebe had gotten this on NetFlix - I don't even remember it coming out - but it's very entertaining - give it a look see - how can you go wrong with Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson??

 

And of course we've been watching the Olympics - here and in Portland - I can't recall ever watching this much of the Olympics!!

So I've been keeping busy - keeping my mind sharp!!

To toss, or not to toss!

In the process of sorting through a very large number of photos - that span a very large number of years - I have come across many a blurry, badly composed photo.  But upon reflection, if it represents a time and place that I don't want to forget,  it doesn't get tossed.  

The above photo is one such photo.  The back says Christmas of 1979, but I think it's 1980 - for one thing, Phoebe looks a lot older than 2 here!  It was such fun to be back in CA.  It was such fun to hang out with Leslie once more - and to have her there as "the aunt" for the girls to enjoy.

"Big" hair was coming into vogue.  And Leslie had such lovely, "big" hair.  Overalls were coming into vogue also - Bonny's were pink.  And Strawberry Shortcake came on the scene.  She would figure significantly in Phoebe's childhood experiences.  Who wants to forget that?

You can see why it's taking me so long to get all these photos sorted!

The pioneer dress rides again!!

I thought Phoebe must have worn the famous pioneer dress - and when I did a post on it, I had not found this photo.  Perhaps one will show up with Hannah in it - then the story will be complete!!  (Unless Bonny has photos of her girls wearing it?  Do you??)

This is 1982 - at the Huntington Library.

What goes around, comes around - and aren't we glad it does??

Agnes got an American Girl doll for her birthday yesterday - and she was pretty excited!

 

25+ years ago her mom got a Cabbage Patch doll for her birthday - and she was pretty excited too!!

Sometimes it's just not too hard to bring a big smile to a little girl's face!

(The funny story about Phoebe's doll - which I'm sure I've told before - is that we went to buy it and there was only one left.  I picked it up - and noticed that it was $37 - which seemed outrageous to me.  I walked around the store debating whether to get it or not - saying to Bonny and Harry F. - "Your dad will flip when he finds out what it cost!"  And then Harry F. said, "Well, you could buy it and take it outside to the parking lot and sell it for $75 - and there's a line of people following us around to see if you are going to put it down!"  Harry the Dad did indeed "flip" when he heard the price.  But when he saw the look of pure joy on Phoebe's face when she opened it up, he said, "Well, you sure called that one right Barb!")

Long, long ago!!

Margie, Sharen, Kristen

 

 

I am slogging ahead with my photo sorting - actually making progress.  In the midst of my sorting, I came across some junior high photos - and started sharing them with a group of friends I have known since kindergarten.  The above three girls - Margie, Sharene, and Kristen - were friends I met in junior high.  Kristen was also in my ward.  The way they are dressed is just the way we dressed on cold California days - the head scarves especially are my fave!!  (I had a little wardrobe of head scarves even!!)

My friends and I from kindergarten have a semi-Round Robin email letter going - and the photos I post - so far the others don't have any posted yet - elicit long-forgotten times, names, and places.  Laurie, one of the girls, said, after I had posted several school photos, "Well, if I'd passed them in Trader Joe's and they looked like that, I would have recognized them!!"  It's funny how when we know the name, and see a photo, it all comes back.  But if we just saw them now, without a name, we wouldn't necessarily know them.  Names do help, even without photos.

As we were chatting, Carol pops up with a college website in Oregon and says, "Is this our Bobby?"  And I went to the site - and Bobby had not changed much - his red hair was just white!!  So we all emailed him - and he's probably wondering about these crazy women, but wrote back that he'd send an autobiography!!

This prompted the recommendation from me that we plan a reunion - in January it will have been 50 years since we all graduated from Granada Hills High School.  27 years ago we had an informal reunion at Carol's house in Thousand Oaks - time for another one - but none of us have kept track of anyone except each other - other than the aforementioned Bobby!!

Everyone says "Oh, you can find anyone on the Internet."  But I don't think that's totally true.  And most of the sites we did find cost money to join - and they are sneaky - they have you register, but don't tell you the cost!!  You have to be pretty savvy.  We did find one for GHHS that had a "Memorial Wall" so we at least have an idea of some of those who have died - and there were at least a dozen we've found so far.  Sad because our class only had 90 kids in it!

 The aforementioned "Bobby" at the 9th grade dance.

 

Anyway, we will not be deterred - and if you have any suggestions, send them along.  The reunion 27 years ago was facilitated by a former classmate who was in the LAPD - he just tapped into the DMV files for us!!  But he's retired - and we think we've found him on a site - but to get more info - right, you got it - we have to pay - and who knows if they really have any info??

Latest read -

I'm a little behind in my church reading - but Dad's reading group has been reading this weekly in their study sessions and he was talking about it.  I got intrigued when he noted the inclusion of a name from my past - Jim Keysor Sr. of Century Records - where I worked after high school.

It's a great read - Sheri Dew is a fine writer.  I recently finished the bio of President Monson - I think I'd better get going - backwards I guess - the only other bios I've read of prophets is Spencer Kimball's and David O. McKay.  I have some reading to do!!

I guess I had forgotten that the life story of a great man makes for stimulating, uplifting reading!!

I also know that since much of what is written here involves names, places, events, and stories I've heard before, there is an inherent interest factor.  I especially found it poignant and emotional to read about his visits to Vietnam during the war.  President Hinckley had seen enough of war and the tragedy it engenders - but he wanted to be sure that these young servicemen knew of his love for them.  

If you haven't read it - put it on your list!!

Who are you?

As many of you know, I am immersed right now in sorting many years worth of photos for a scanning project.  This project has intersected with some photo sorting that has been going on at my mom's house.  When siblings come to visit, they help my mom go through boxes. And during that process, many more photos are found.

My mom can identify many of the pictures that are found.  But many are totally foreign to her.  When my Grandpa Clayton died, Grandma Connie gave boxes of photos, papers, and other documents to my folks.  I'm sure they went through them at the time, but apparently only in a cursory manner.  Then they were boxed up and put away.  And we all know what happens when you put something away!!

It's entirely possible that the above photo is of an ancestor of ours.  Or it is just as possible that it's an ancestor of Grandma Connie and it got in the box by accident.  Or it could be an old photo that somehow got in the box a long time ago and just stayed there.

Whatever it's source, it's a little bit sad to think that such a darling photo goes unclaimed.  On the other hand, it's a charming photo that can tell us a lot about a time and place that is no more.  It could be a boy - because boys wore dresses until they got into short pants.  It's probably a loved child.  And the family had some means, to have such a nicely made dress - and to even be going to a photographer!

I am quick to say there's a lesson here - and the lesson is:  label your photos.  That's almost moot though, since digital photos always have dates - and usually ask us to identify what we're putting on the computer.  But some detail would probably be helpful.

And if you print out photos, some identifying is called for.  And don't forget school pics that come home and get sent off to doting grandparents - be sure to identify them!!  (School photos, although they do show a progression, can get very confusing.)

I have not been good about identifying photos over the years.  And that is making my job harder.  On the other hand, it's also sharpening my skills of deduction as I try to figure out what year the photo happened.  And in the case of photos of babies and small children, it's a job sometimes just to figure out who it is.

Meanwhile, sweet boy or girl above, we're sorry we can't celebrate you here on the blog - at least by name!!

Pioneer Dresses - and the little girls who wear them!

I came across two photos of Eliza wearing Bonny's pioneer dress - and Phoebe had sent me one of Agnes wearing it - if any of you have any photos of any others wearing it, send them on to me.

I remember making this dress for Bonny - and I love the fact that the dress is still around.  Bonny wore it as a much older child than Eliza or Agnes did - guess Bonny was tiny - I recall that she was - and still is pretty small - but that always sort of surprises me.

I save certain things and they are really never used again - and then I think about something and wonder why I didn't save it.

Just need to remember to take photos of stuff I think is going to be meaningful - instead of all the somewhat meaningless photos I am wading through right now!!

"To market, to market to buy a fat pig, home again, home again, jiggedy jig!!"

I bought myself a wire shopping cart so that I can walk to the market and back without having to carry bags.  I have had it stuffed fairly full, and it was not so difficult to push/pull home either.  Dad and Noah kind of smiled when I showed it off to them - but I am not dissuaded. 

I feel so Continental!

More four generation shots

My photo-sorting project keeps getting derailed as I think, "Oh, here's another 4 generation shot - I will add that to my blog!"

This would be at Henry's blessing in Concord, CA in August of 2001 - that's me, Phoebe holding Henry, and my mom, Mary Clayton.

Now I will be on the prowl for more of these shots - maybe do a montage!!  (Other ideas come to me and distract me too - like, let me gather up all the baptism shots, or all the graduation shots, or all the prom shots - it just goes on and on!!)

Oh dear, need to get back to the sorting!!

Generations

A four generation shot from 1998 - Mary Clayton, Barbara Terrill, Bonny and Ara Bolander.

Another four generation shot from 1974 - Mima Stevens, Mary Clayton, Barbara and Bonny Terrill.

I'm still sorting photos - and finding my mind going in all kinds of directions as I see events I'd forgotten about, see pictures I took of people that I don't even recognize anymore, see how we've all changed - mostly by growing older of course!

This spring I had one of my classes read Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt.  If you haven't read it, by all means do - it's a novel for kids - it's part of the 6th grade core curriculum - and you'll have it read in a couple of hours. 

The story revolves around a family who inadvertently drank water from a spring that turns out to imbue them with eternal properties - they cannot die.  There's enough action to keep kids interested.  And enough philosophy to engage adults.  

I was impressed that most of the students seemed to think that being immortal was very cool - at first.  In fact, the ancillary materials that came with the book had the students answer a series of questions before they read the book - and then answer the same questions when they finished.  As the story progressed, they seemed to grasp how trying it might be to live forever.

It's a thought.  Actually it's several thoughts.

This is what happens when I sort photos and think!

Some people I love - and the happy memories that go with them

Jennifer M., Rachel W. me, Erin Mc, Ashley M., Tricia, Connie, Hannah, Katie, Emily, Chelsea J., Rachel's friend why can't I think of her name?, Andrea, Christina C., Mandy, Eliza

I am going to post this on Facebook, because a number of the people in this photo are on FB.  But I wanted to reflect a bit on the whole Girls' Camp experience I had for 15 years.

From the time Phoebe was almost 12 and was going to be allowed to go to camp, until Hannah's last year before college, I went along to Girls' Camp.  Once I was in charge of cooking - that was hard.  Many times I was in charge of crafts - once I got a system going, it was not a hard job.  You just had to monitor the girls and keep the brushes clean!!  (Thank you Magnusson girls for knowing this lesson so well!!)

Sometimes I was in the YW Presidency in my ward.  For 4 years I was the YW President.  A few times I was in the Stake YW Presidency.  Always I was someone's - Phoebe, Eliza, or Hannah - mom.  Often I went along as Aunt Barbara, because my nieces came along.  Always I was Sister Terrill.

We went to Cachuma Lake, we went to Catalina, we went to Big Bear.  We went to places I can't remember the names of - but one of them was near Valencia and it was awful - hot, bees, bears, conflicts with girls and women!!

Always it was a task to get ready - shopping, packing, loading up the car, driving to the location.  

Always it was a task to go home - packing, loading up the car, driving home - some years in terrible traffic that made you curse the fact that you'd ever heard of Girls' Camp!  (And why were there only traffic jams on the way home?)

I would not trade the memories and experiences of those 15 years for anything.  I really wish I'd kept a journal.  While sorting through photos, I've come across my girls' camp photos - but they don't reveal much.  (It would probably have helped if I'd labeled them immediately after getting them developed!)

Always I got to know the sisters there better - and it was a blessing.  Always I came to love the girls - even the difficult ones.  Always I enjoyed the lack of the 3 Ms - you know, make-up, mirrors and men!!  Always I wept at the testimony meeting and had hope that the spirit would linger longer for some girls.

The first year I didn't go, I was sure I'd feel a void or a lack of some kind.  But I didn't.  Camp has changed quite a bit from what I hear.  If the change had occurred incrementally while I was going, I probably would have handled it just fine.  Now I just say,  upon hearing what they don't do anymore, "Oh, that's too bad.  That was the best part of camp."

So if you have a YW age daughter, and they ask you to go to camp, be sure to say yes.  You'll be glad you did.

And if you read this, and want to share a camp memory, please do so - we need to keep the love alive!!

Summertime

This is St. George in 1998 - probably not the 4th of July - but it could have been - we spent some 4th of July holidays there.

But it is somewhere in Zion National Park. 

Holidays tend to make me sentimental - probably because they happen over and over again and you can mark time against them.

I think this was the summer we met up with David and Phoebe in St. George - to get ready for the wedding.

Doesn't seem that long ago when you look at the photo - I still recognize those kiddos anyway!

Latest read

Harry was reading this and said, "You'd love this Barb."  So I went to the library and got it.

He was right - I sat up til 1:30 a.m. reading it!!

How did I miss this as a kid?

And I want to see the most current movie again - it's from the 90s I think.

There is something new under the sun.

And it was a nice break from Dickens - I am trying to get through Bleak House!!

Someone encourage me about it please!!

Some not-so-random-thoughts with a rather random photo!!

When Harry and I drove up to Provo to pick up little Harry after his first year at BYU, we stopped somewhere near Parowan and stayed in these charming little cabins - and you can see how very little they were.  They did not have bathrooms, but the communal bathroom was lovely and close by.  It was a bit chilly, but we had down comforters, so we were fine.  

Harry had told us in a conversation about a book he'd stayed up all night reading - we were flabbergasted because he'd been a hard kid to get reading much besides National Geographic.  The book was Their Eyes Were Watching God by Nora Zeale Hurston.  We'd gotten hold of a copy - and were sharing it - so I think we spent the evening reading it to each other.  Funny the things you remember.

At any rate, that explains the photo.  The thought is about Social Media and my relative struggle with finding it meaningful.  Sometimes I find Facebook so unifying and bonding and appreciate how it helps me feel a connection to many people who would pretty much go unnoticed in my life - for no other reason than I don't see them often or ever even.

But of late, I find it so divisive that I'm tempted to give it up - maybe until after the election in the fall.  I am so tired of vicious, unkind, insulting, and obscene references to our current president that I'm ready to scream.  Harry says to just unfriend all those folks.  Unfortunately, many of the same ones doing it are folks I'd like to stay in touch with otherwise.  Perhaps someone should develop a political filter that could screen all that stuff out beforehand. 

I guess it doesn't occur to some of them that there are people in the world who appreciate President Obama's efforts to make our world a better place.  He is intelligent and thoughtful and very articulate.  But I'm not up to slamming all those who are against him just to make my point.

The filter idea keeps looking better and better!!

"I often go walking . . ."

I try to walk often - but it often doesn't happen!!  I have discovered that unless I am walking to a destination or I am meeting someone, I usually won't end up walking!!

 

So I have been thinking of places to walk each morning - during the school year I can often persuade myself to walk to school - the post office, the market,  the library.  Unfortunately, except for the post office, most places don't open until 9 or 10 - and then it's a little warm.  (I also often sleep in during the summer - which gets me up later too!)

So I have noticed the shade much more often.  And plan my routes based on how much shade is on that street!!

Today was no exception - and I found myself thinking about how hard it would be to walk in the sun all day!!  I'm pretty sure there was not much shade on the plains!!

This is the time of year to remember the pioneers - and applaud them for their strength and perseverance.  Hence the photos from a Pioneer Day celebration at Eisenhower Park some 10 or 15 years ago.  I was asked to be Sister Friendly at the party - a task I did monthly in Primary - hence my very cool Sister Friendly apron - and being the over-achiever I was then, I made a pioneer dress too.

It still fits!!  Guess I will keep walking!!

Saying Goodbye

Last Saturday, I took Ara, Esme and Annika to the funeral service for their good friend Anne Andrus.  We were privileged to know her too, and so I was thankful to be able to attend her service.

It is difficult to describe a funeral service without sounding cliched.  This one was lovely, sad, heartwarming, joyful, inspiring - but I also found it very instructive.

For one thing, since I didn't know her really well, it was instructive to hear about her life.  To find out the path she had followed that had led her to the place where she was.  To learn about her passion for life, learning and the lives of others.  Her husband delivered a moving eulogy.  I was impressed that he could do so in such a clear-eyed manner.  You could tell that he wanted to do this one last service for her - and do it well.  And he did. 

It was also instructive to hear from her children.  Two of her sons spoke.  They are 19 and 17 I believe. They each chose to focus on two characteristics of their mother - the one boy said devotion and curiosity were the qualities that defined his mother for him.  The other son said that dedication and compassion were the qualities he noted as being essential to his mother's life.  

The older son is studying at Oxford - but he had taken a year off to be at home.  He said that he had always felt that the study of history defined him. But as his mother's illness progressed, he wanted no more of history - he wanted to live in the present.  He said that now, his focus as he studies history will be to find out the effect of the events of history - not just the study of the events.  He wants to know how the event that was his mother's life will impact his life.

The younger son, in speaking on the devotion and curiosity of his mother, said that as a "fledgling teen" he now looks for those qualities in the people he has relationships with.  These are the qualities that matter most to him now.

Her sister and two of her sisters-in-law spoke next.  They related incidents that clarified my understanding of just who Anne was and very specifically how she related to others.  The one sister-in-law, Kat, was just 15 when she first met Anne.   Kat suggested a game of volleyball. Kat was an athlete - Anne was a dancer.  But Anne gamely played her best at game with which she had little experience.  Kat said, "I knew then that Anne loved me - that she wanted me to be happy - that she would do anything for me."  These three women had all been "nannies" to Anne's children.  Anne had always said that when her kids were bigger, she would "nanny" her nieces and nephews in return.  They were all saddened at the idea that this would not be occurring.  One nephew apparently said, "It's just going to be boring without Anne!"

My son-in-law Bruce was the concluding speaker.  He did an excellent job of exhorting all of us to honor Anne and pay tribute to her memory.  He quoted from C.S. Lewis and Pres. Eyring and St. Matthew - and I will try to get the references for a later post.  It was most instructive to me to focus on the idea that we honor someone whose life we admired by living those qualities ourselves.

When I was almost 8 - the age Annika is now - my best friend Barbara Britton died of a brain aneurysm.  It was sudden and unexpected.  My mother took me to the funeral at the Little Church of the Flowers at Forest Lawn.  I recall feeling very sad and wanting to cry.  But I was worried that I would be scolded for crying - most children often hear, "Stop crying right now" and I was no exception.  After the service, Barbara's mother requested that I come over to the limousine where she was sitting.  She thanked me for coming and gave me a hug.  I vividly recall how much I wanted to weep - but didn't.

In later years, I spoke to my mother about the experience. She was a little aghast.  "Oh dear.  I just thought you didn't understand!"  I'm certainly grateful that we are more open and accommodating with children now.

Much food for thought for me these past days - in fact this past year - hopefully the lessons will stay fresh in my mind.

What we do best -

Today I attended the funeral services for Anne Andrus, Bonny and Bruce's good friend and a member of their ward.  She had battled cancer for two years, but the battle ended last Tuesday with her untimely death.  Bonny's girls have been with me this week while she and Ella traipsed about Amsterdam and Paris, so I drove them out to the funeral this morning.

It was a beautiful service - I will write more when I'm not so tired and worn out from driving too and from Malibu - in Saturday traffic, it can be quite mind-numbing!!  But as I walked the halls looking to gather up the girls to drive them home, I looked in the kitchen at the Relief Society sisters - and an able priesthood brother - as they toiled away making sure that the funeral luncheon was moving along smoothly.

This funeral luncheon was a bit different - no ham and funeral potatoes here!  Tom, Anne's husband, announced at the end of his eulogy, that there was a luncheon after and he wanted everyone to stay because they were serving 4 of Anne's favorites - she wanted everyone to enjoy being together!  

There was Thai, Indian, and Vietnamese food - and Dominoe's Pizza!  It was great food, and everyone granted Anne her wish and enjoyed the food and fellowship that comes when we break bread together.  Part way into the afternoon, the family gathered everyone together to view a video that Anne had prepared.  She spoke of her children and her husband and her great love for them.  She ended with her testimony of eternal life and the knowledge that families are indeed forever.  It was very moving and touched many hearts.

Meanwhile the women of the ward were moving efficiently and mostly silently in the background.  Water pitchers got refilled, food was dished up and replenished as it became scarce, and used plates, cups and napkins were whisked away.  Needs were being met by the good women of Palisades Ward.  Just as they had helped and served Anne and her family for the last two years as she struggled with the challenge of her illness, the women were coming together this final time to make sure all was in order for their dear friend and sister.

I thought about how constant this quality is throughout the church.  I have never been to an LDS funeral that did not have able and loving sisters working hard behind the scenes to make that final act of service for the departed sister or brother.  What a great blessing to be able to serve one another one last time!  What a great blessing to be able to serve!

A thoughtful read -

Just finished The Maytrees by Annie Dillard.  Haven't read her in years. You may know her as the author of the Pulitzer Prize-winning book, "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek."  A few years ago I read The Living, a fascinating story about the early Native Americans who settled the San Juan Islands off the coast of  Washington state, also by Annie Dillard.  My neighbor was taking a trip there, so I suggested the novel to her - and she commented later that it had added to her enjoyment of her vacation.

So we were at Porter's piano recital last week, and a parent there noted that he was going kayaking in the San Juan Islands this summer.  So that reminded me about the book - but I could not remember the title.  So I went home and looked up Annie Dillard - because I could remember the author!!  Reading her website was instructive - learned more about Annie Dillard than I probably needed to know, but it was informative.  For example, she calls herself a "gregarious recluse."  Seems slightly oxymoronic doesn't it?

Anyway, found out the title - and also read about The Maytrees,  a novel published in 2007, her first since The Living, so I went to the library the next day and checked it out.  It is a strange novel - rather stream-of-consciousness - best read in a few sittings - but the prose, though obscure most of the time, is really quite beautiful - and thoughtful.

"She pushed the tiller hard over, came about, and set a slashing course upwind.  The one-room, ever-sparer dune shack was her chief dwelling from which only hurricane or frost exiled her.  Over decades, she had reclaimed what she had forfeited of her own mind, if any.  She took pains to keep outside the world's acceleration. An Athens marketplace amazed Diogenes with "How many things there are in the world of which Diogenes hath not need!"  Lou had long since cut out fashion and all radio but the Red Sox.  In the past few years she had let go her ties to people she did not like, to ironing, to dining out in town, and to buying things not necessary and that themselves needed care.  She ignored whatever did not interest her. With those blows she opened her days like a pinata.  A hundred freedoms fell on her.  She hitched free years to her lifespan like a kite tail.  Everyone envied her the time she had, not noticing that they had equal time."

I recommend it for your summer reading list - if you read it, let me know what you think.  Or maybe you've read it already!!  Let me know.  I recommend The Living too - but "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek" didn't do much for me.  And I'm almost a hippie - not sure why it didn't grab me!!  (Annie Dillard is about 3 weeks older than me - maybe that's why we connect!)

Father's Day thoughts

 

  This is an old shot from someone's birthday - maybe my dad's.  In the photo - Bonny, Phoebe, Randy, and Harry.  I'm thinking it was 1979 - the year we moved to Monrovia.

This is how I remember my dad best.  He was still well and healthy.  Most of the photos of my dad in his waning years show the deterioration, but I really can't remember him that way.  Maybe I just don't want to remember him that way.

When we moved back to California, Harry had to go back for a month to wrap things up.  It was hard to be in a new house, new neighborhood, new ward, new state - and to be alone with the kids.  Harry and Phoebe were fine - Harry had made a new friend on the street and spent lots of time playing and having fun.  We walked down the alley and went swimming at the now defunct Monrovia Plunge.  (The location is now the Monrovia Historical Museum.)

Bonny found a friend, but she was old enough to miss her former home.  When things were not going well, she would blame it on where we were now.  I suspect she got her attitude from me - because I did the same thing! I missed being close to my sister and my friends in Utah.  I was not often a happy camper.

I took on several projects - the major one being refinishing a table and chairs for our kitchen.  I went out to GH to work on it.  My dad worked with me - showed me how to do it - critiqued my efforts and made suggestions.  He was patient with me - just like he was when I did school projects with him.  The new table and chairs - with the addition of curtains - made the kitchen quite charming.  The house felt homier.

Later on, after we'd pretty well adapted to being in California and were no longer longing to be back in Utah, my mom and I started making dolls, blankets, and other crafty items for boutiques.  My dad, now retired from the "shop," sat in our crafting sessions and offered suggestions and ideas.  And he made cradles and doll beds to sell too.   I wish I had a photo of us sitting around the table, making plans and patting ourselves on the back for our cleverness!

He and my mom came out often to visit and help out.  By then Eliza had been born, and we soon moved to Primrose.  We took in Bernie.  They were always helpful and supportive.  One time they came and Eliza had burned her hand by grabbing a still-hot curling iron.  She was inconsolable.  My folks walked in on this chaos.  My dad picked Eliza up and took her for a walk - she was about 15 months old.  When they came back she was fine.

Hey Dad, thanks for the memories!!

Being a "California Girl"

Have been driving back and forth between GH and Monrovia this week - listening to the Beach Boys, Pete Seeger, and some oldies but goodies just to break up the NPR fare - sometimes you get duplicates.

This is a shot from a Clayton family reunion of yore - not sure which yore though!!

Alice talked about how much she wanted to rent a place by the beach - and have a big gathering.   I always envision that too - hasn't happened often though.

The beach is romanticized in story and song - that's for sure.  And Leslie likes to say that "you can take the girl out of California, but you can't take California out of the girl" and maybe she's right.

I'm a California girl who's still here, and I can't seem to get to the beach very often!!

We will keep trying though - and we'll let you know when the party starts - and how much per night it is!

Packing up to go somewhere!

This photo is from 1968 - I posed dramatically coming out of the powder room in our house on 7th and 7th in Provo.  And it has little to do with anything, but I always like to include a photo!!

I am getting ready to go out to my mom's house to spend the night.  Alice is here,  and we are heading out to Bonny's in the a.m.  Donna has taken the day off, and whenever Alice comes, she likes to visit the beach!!  As Leslie always says, "You can take the girl out of California, but you can't take California out of the girl!"

I sometimes spend the night at my mom's, and I decided that I should have a toiletries bag that I only took when I traveled - with all the things I always need and want to have with me.  I thought, "I won't have to pack each time - I will just grab this bag."

So I trundled off to CVS and purchased the items - it was not a cheap proposition.  When we went to Yosemite last week, I grabbed my bags and thought I was one slick chick for figuring this all out.

Alas, I had forgotten one item - a make up brush that I depend on.  So I bought a toothbrush and just used it to separate the lashes when applying mascara.  It worked fine.

But I discovered that your daily makeup and toiletry items are like old friends - and getting used to new ones can be a pain.

I'm wondering about the clothing items stored in my 72 hour flee kit - will I not be comfortable because the clothes are not old friends?

Well, someone has to worry about these things!!

"Summertime, summertime, sum, sum, summertime. . ."

School is out for the next 11 weeks - it seems to get shorter every year!!  I packed up my room today - an odious task - made more odious by the pressure to be done - pressure from the librarian, the nurse, the custodian, and the office manager who have to sign you out!

Usually I start two weeks before - doing a little every day - that way I don't overburden my 3 paltry wastebaskets!!

But this year I didn't.  I did some last week - but not much.  I should have thrown more away - instead I just stuffed it all into cupboards and closets.  It will all be there in August - and I will wonder why I didn't pack up more carefully!!

It's this way most years.  In fact, I do lots of things that way.

But I'm not going to let it spoil my holiday!!