Today's rant!!

I had 9 phone calls today between 8 and 11 a.m. And about 5 people came to my room needing something from me. To say it was disruptive to my classes is putting it mildly. Every one of the callers "needed" something from me too. But they could have left voicemails instead. I'm good about answering those. And answering emails too.

What I feel bad about though, is that I pretty much ended up taking my frustration out on the kids. One of the young ladies in one of my classes has ditched one too many times and got sent to the alternative program. I feel bad about that, and it happened today, so my students were on edge about it. They may tease and pick on one another, but when the chips are down, as they say, they are fiercely loyal. I'm afraid I wasn't really "there" for them.

I'm going bed now - I usually end up staying up too late most of the time - which I'm sure makes it harder for me to deal with 9 phone calls and 5 drive-bys - and I'm going to ponder on a plan for dealing with whatever tomorrow brings.

Besides, I have to get there early to run off the tests I didn't finish doing today - on account of all the interruptions!!

I'll let you know how it goes.

A little rant

I could be out of touch. But I don't think so. I teach middle school, and I am around 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14 year olds. We even have an occasional 15-year old. And things have truly changed. I have observed that myself. My first child started school in 1975 - and my last child graduated in 2005. That's a fairly long stint.

I have been teaching since 1996. When I started teaching, I didn't even have a cell phone. People had them - I just didn't. I don't even remember when I got one. I pretty much got Harry's old one whenever he got a new one.

Then having a cell phone started seeming to be essential. However, I'm not totally sure that they are. They are convenient. But sometimes they are too convenient. Sometimes it's nice to not be able to be contacted.

But I digress. My problem with cell phones is the number of middle school students who use and abuse them. And today, my run- in with the ubiquitous cell phone was especially problematic.

A middle school student at our school doesn't need his phone during the school day. In an emergency, the parents would have to contact the school - you can't just call your child and tell him or her to come out to the front so you can pick them up!! Now I remember times when I was truly annoyed that I had to unload a baby and go into the school to get my child for an orthodontist appointment. But schools simply can't let a child go without an adult - one whose name is on the approved list - coming in and signing them out. Think about it for a minute - the ramifications are enormous.

But parents get annoyed when they can't just do that. And some of them rant at us about it too - even after you point out the obvious.

And parents really ought not to be able to field calls from their children asking them to go pick up a pizza and bring it to the school for their lunch - maybe even to share with their friends.

But parents do that all the time. One boy bragged that every day since 4th grade his mother had brought him the fast food lunch of his choice!! (I would like to add that that same boy didn't do well in school - often didn't do homework or finish projects. So much so that he didn't get to walk across the stage at promotion. He was truly devastated by the turn of events. I ask, "Why wasn't Mom monitoring his school work as carefully as she monitored his lunch requests?")

The rule is: "Students may have cell phones at school if they have their parents' permission. Cell phones must be out of sight in the backpack and turned off during school hours." First infraction: phone can only be retrieved by the parent. Second infraction: phone is kept for 30 days. Third infraction: phone is kept until the last day of school in June.

No student is allowed to register for school without signing an affidavit that they have read and understood the rule. Parents have to sign the affidavit too.

I have confiscated a number of phones in recent days. One rang during class. One girl was texting her friend in the row ahead. One boy was just admiring his phone I guess. One boy was calling his dad to come get him. And every one of those kids was annoyed with me!

Annoyance isn't the biggest danger though. Our principal has confiscated phones and found that the person on the other end of the call was an adult male the girl didn't know except via her phone! Needless to say the unknown male immediately hung up when the principal announced herself!

Students text to cheat on tests. Students text to gossip about other kids. Students text to spread rumors. Students text to avoid doing their work. There is no good reason to do this during the school day. And you can't be selective how who can and who can't - everyone just has to follow the rules.

So imagine my chagrin when I got an irate voicemail from the mother of the girl whose phone I confiscated today! She told me I should take the time to talk to the child and find out why they had their phone out. I called her back and I thought I was being matter-0f-fact and pleasant about how I thought perhaps she didn't understand the circumstances surrounding the event. And she hung up on me.

I wrote a letter that I think is pretty matter-of-fact. But I may not send it. I talked to the VP who handled giving the phone back. He said he was very clear in explaining the situation to the mother. She told him she thought teachers should have the courtesy to ask the student why their phone was out. He told her that wasn't how the rule worked. So maybe she is not someone who would listen to reason.

I will call the young lady in though, and have a little discussion with her. She needs to understand that she may have snowed her mother, but she hasn't snowed anyone on the staff.

And I'm determined to catch her buddy she was texting - she is pretty cagey, but I'm a little cagier I think.

I'll report back!

Meanwhile - if you are the parent of a student with a cell phone, regardless of what the rules are at your school, will you assess carefully whether your child really needs to be able to call and text at will during the school day? And maybe encourage them to demonstrate cell phone courtesy and all it implies?

As with most new technology for communicating, advances often just mean new ways to be rude and inconsiderate. Just sit in any meeting or public gathering and see how often they have to ask you to turn off your phones so as not to bother others.

Thanks for listening!

On plagues and other nuisances

There's not a photo to go with this, but I wanted to share our recent experience with an "infestation."

We get these periodically. It always starts out the same: we notice a bug here and there. Sometimes it's a flying bug. Sometimes it's a little bug you think is dead until you touch it and it moves. And they are very tiny - maybe the size of a pencil tip.

This time it started on the kitchen windowsills, so I assumed it was something coming in from outside. Then we saw them on the counters. On the stove. In the bathroom. Not tons of them - never more than 3 or 4 at time. But you got rid of them - and some more came back.

The last time this happened was after Harry and Dawn left from staying here when they remodeled their house. It was a swarming of tiny moth-like creatures. We found that they were multiplying in some doggy treats Harry had bought for the dogs. They left some of them here for when the dogs were here. And when I opened up the package they were in, there was a whole community of them - it was disgusting and fascinating at the same time.

So Thursday night I was thinking that I needed to start looking in containers - and sure enough, they were in some pancake mix in the cupboard over the stove. And they were in a box of graham cracker crumbs. Both of these containers were opened, so I wasn't surprised. But then I found an unopened box of instant mashed potatoes in the room formerly known as the laundry room - and it wasn't opened. They had drilled through the cardboard!! And there was a whole universe of those little critters in there!!

Needless to say we did a thorough search and had to throw out some large quantities of food. They had not gotten into any flour though - but just to be safe, I've put the flour in the fridge.

I even found one inside the cap for the bottle of mouthwash in the bathroom!

I can certainly see why the plagues were so odious to the Egyptians - and why we think of them as punishments!!

I think there's a moral here - or an object lesson - but for now I'm keeping an eagle eye out for any stragglers!

Specializing!!

I am a specialist - that is my title, Resource Specialist. It means that I only teach children with identified disabilities. I actually am not licensed to teach anyone else. I don't mind though, because the idea of facing 35 students every period, every day, really doesn't do it for me! I like teaching small classes and being in charge of a smaller number of students than most other teachers.


I have thought a lot about this recently as I have received congrats and kudos for things that I am really not responsible for. And it occurred to me that the key is to focus on one thing and do that one thing well. I'm not a hair stylist, but I can French braid - and with 8 granddaughters, it's a skill that's in demand. And no one seems to question that I can't do much else with hair!

I've made bread for years - more in years past than in recent years - but I got pretty good at it. But I mostly only made one kind. Recently I've tried my hand at a new kind, but it feels more like work. I plan to persist at it, but it will be a chore for a bit I think.


At my school, there is an assumption that I am a great cook, an outstanding seamstress, and a wonderful gardener. I have earned these accolades by bringing lilies that bloom in my garden to school and putting them in the main office and the library. Since my lilies - through no effort on my part, by the way - are beautiful, everyone thinks I must be some kind of gardener.


And I put jam in pretty jars and give it out at Christmas - so there is another assumption that I am a great cook. (The hilarious part is that for the last two years, I have not given out jam at Christmas, but Marcie has. And I have gotten the credit, since she doesn't put tags on hers!)


I also make lots of aprons and have pretty much given them to a significant number of staff members - most of whom don't even mend, for heaven's sake - so it is once again assumed that I must be a stellar seamstress! I enjoy sewing - I have for a lot of years. But I don't enjoy struggling through a new pattern or fussing over unfamiliar details. So I just make the same thing over and over again - and enjoy doing it.

I can do lots of things - and in the past I did a lot more - but I am thinking that this business of specialization has real merit!

Upon rumination, however, I came to the conclusion that I have always been sort of a specialist. Maybe I have a hard time focusing on more than one thing at at time. Or maybe it just works out that way. When I was younger, my job was to mix the bread and clean the bathrooms. Alice always excelled at lots of things - but I pretty much kept to bread and bathrooms. And my mom, for one, would always comment, when I went to visit, that she loved when I came to stay because I did such a great job on the bathrooms!! I could be feted for much worse things!

I remember my friend Linda Rich saying, "Well, I'm not a cook. But I can get a chicken at the deli and mix up a bag of salad and slice some bread from the bakery!" And that's not a bad meal folks! In fact, it's a pretty darn good meal!

I can eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch for weeks in a row. That characteristic can drive some people nuts. But sameness isn't always a negative. Sameness can bring comfort and security.

I'm not sure where this is going. It's just something I've been thinking about. I'm not writing so that you will comment and tell me how many great things I do. I'm writing because I feel like I am going to a place in my life where I don't need to keep "adding" things. I can focus on the things that, as Bonny would say, "bring me joy!"

And working with the familiar does indeed bring me joy!

Errata:

I wrote a post and thought I was posting it to this blog. It was very late - and it ended up here.

So, check it out there!!

Where's the clue??

Copies of these two photos hang on the wall in the hallway. We took all the photos down when the floor guys came - and then rehung them. As we were putting them back up, Dad commented,

"I think these two photos were taken on the same day." Since it looked like it was Phoebe's birthday that was being celebrated, and since there were 10 candles on the cake,
and since we knew that the second photo had been taken at church for a directory or something, we Googled to see if October 11th had been a Sunday in 1987.


And indeed it had been a Sunday!! (Don't you love solving mysteries - or even just finding bits of trivia here and there!?)

I mostly just thought it was kind of remarkable that no one had ever pointed that out before.

Maybe you can't go home again, but you can look at an old photo and take a trip down Memory Lane!

I honestly sometimes just pull down a box of photos and browse through them. Sometimes nothing comes up of any interest. Other times a whole train of thought emerges.

This rather poor-quality photo is dated May 1982. That would be Leslie walking with Bonny and Phoebe - and Harry is in front. I say it would be Leslie, because I'm probably taking the picture - and I'm not that tall or that long-legged.

They are walking towards the beach house in Oxnard. I'm not sure why we were there in May - maybe for Memorial Day - or maybe just some random weekend. Maybe Leslie would be just back from her mission? Maybe the date on the back is wrong?

The possibilities are endless.

What I do know for sure is that we went up there many times after we moved down here. And my kids always loved being with their Aunt Leslie. And it was always fun to get away - even to Oxnard!

Believe it or not!

According to the notation on the back, this is a photo of my dad, taken in the summer of 1934. After visiting with my Uncle Byron on Sunday, he commented that after his mother's death in 1934, Ted went to Salt Lake for the summer, and Dad went to Logan, Utah. My mom thinks it was Roy, Utah.

Byron was supposed to go to Springville but refused. So he spent the summer living with Uncle Paul - who was 20 years old at the time.

Up close, this doesn't look like my dad to me - but someone said it was! Obviously he spent the summer working on a farm!

Dad told lots of stories about living on the farm and working - too bad I didn't take notes!!

Lipstick!

I was putting on lipstick this morning and thought about how the whole issue of lipstick has changed and evolved. When I was girl, being allowed to wear lipstick was a right of passage into womanhood! Now I'm not sure how women really feel about lipstick. I know that I put it on in the morning - and that's it - however long it lasts is it for me.

Mary Stevens - circa 1938 - not sure if the lipstick and blush are real or "painted on!"

I know women who truly will not be seen without it. In fact tonight, when we were at a restaurant for our "Girls of '45" get together, I asked the waiter to take our picture - and Sandee wouldn't hear of it until she put on fresh lipstick!!

I remember a friend once saying that if she walked into the room naked, her husband might not even notice - but if she didn't have lipstick on, he would!

I also remember watching older girls put on lipstick in the restrooms at school - many of them used some amazing techniques that I was sure I would never be able to master. Fortunately, I have lived long without the skills, and it seems to have not made a difference.

I know that the magazine ads make lipstick look like it's still pretty essential. And it's certainly for sale everywhere. But most of the women I'm around seem to mostly use Chapstick and lip gloss - many times a day.

Maybe I'm just genetically predisposed to have self-moistening lips, but my lips don't get dry - and they survive nicely with my once a morning contribution of Carmex and Coty.

And I've never worried much about being trendy about make-up.

But I do feel naked without mascara!

A name from the past - with a photo to go along with it!

You have all probably heard me talk about my experience as a 14 year old babysitting for a recently widowed young mother of 8 children under 7 - because there was a set of twins. She moved into our ward from Idaho, where her husband had been killed in a farming accident.

It was difficult to babysit for her because there were so many children and the house was very chaotic, and so no one wanted to do it. My mother pretty much made me do it - and made me tell her she couldn't pay me because I needed service hours!! (She was taking classes to upgrade her nursing degree so that she could be a school nurse, so she needed babysitters two nights a week.)

I am so glad my mother made me have this experience. It taught me many things - chiefly that "when we are in the service of our fellow beings, we are only in the service of our God." But I also have used this experience over the years to remind myself that difficult service is often the most rewarding service of all. And I am grateful to have that understanding.

I came across this photo in a box of picture's at my mom's house - and I reflected on how sweet those children truly were. Their living situation was very difficult - but they were not. And there's a great lesson to be learned there.

Also, Sister Harris would visit with me when she got home - while we waited for my dad to pick me up - and she treated me not like a peer, but like what I had to say was really important to her. I came to feel valued by her, not just for babysitting, but for who I was. There's also a great lesson to be learned there.

Finally, looking at the photo took me back in time to a place where I might have acted very differently. And if I had acted very differently, maybe I would feel badly about that now. Another great lesson!

Long ago and far away!!

I came across this photo recently, and it brought back a flood of memories.

It's Girls' Camp 1975 in Centerville, Utah. Dale Lords was our ward Young Women President - and she asked for me to be the Camp Director.

It was an interesting experience - one I didn't totally enjoy - except for my association with the leaders there. The girls were less than friendly - they short-sheeted my bed, put Saran Wrap over the toilet bowls, and talked all night long!! Of course, as soon as one of them didn't feel well, it was a plaintive, "Sister Terrill?"

But I remember taking the 5 mile hike - and Dale and I ended up at the tail end. And Dale kept me laughing the whole way. "I'm sure this is the 3rd time we've circled this pine tree. I know we've gone 10 miles already!" A woman after my own heart!!

A few months later, she and her husband and family moved to Oregon, I believe. We soon got word that Dale had been killed in a tragic auto accident. There had been other deaths by auto accidents in the Centerville Ward we lived in - and it was a pretty new experience for me to lose people so suddenly and unexpectedly.

Seeing this photo was like a little frozen moment in time - one that won't come back.

Treasure the here and now.

"At the hop!"

Here I am in all my 9th grade glory - "At the Hop" was probably on the turntable too!

The dress was seafoam green taffeta. And my partner was Bobby McCann. And don't you love that we had our dances in a classroom??!!

I attended "new" schools for junior high and high school - so gyms and auditoriums weren't finished at first. Once I commented to Harry that the schools I went to look so different now. "Well, the trees are 40+ years older. That should make a difference!" was his reply.

Is it a sign of aging that I love to look at old school photos??

"Senior" Supper

There's a bit of irony here in noting a photo of me and my good friend and old college roommate Joy - at our "Senior" Supper in January of 1963.

They may not even have Senior Supper's anymore - especially in the cafeteria!!

The beginnings of sisterhood in my life - but not the familial kind

This is a photo from Horne Hall, December 1963. We all got up at 5:00 a.m. to exchange gifts before we headed home for the holidays. My roomies in order: Joy, Judy, Marlene, me, Pat, and Janet.

I was thinking about the gifts that Pat gave each of us. I certainly don't remember what I gave people on that occasion, but I have never forgotten how Pat had gotten little, tiny glass figurines that represented each one of us - and then she wrote a poem about each one of us. I don't have the figurine anymore - but I think maybe the poem is somewhere in my "stuff." But I remember the first line,

"Here's Barb, with her chic new "double-bubble,"

Marlene wore her hair in a "double-bubble" which means she teased the bottom into a bubble. Then she teased the top into another bubble on top of it. It was indeed chic. And for someone who'd spent the last several years looking like Mary Martin in Peter Pan, it was quite a change for me to adopt the hair style.

Pat was a wonderful roommate - she was a couple of years older than us - she was a junior in fact - and she was hard-working and serious and so kind and helpful. And she washed her hair with Tide. (I tried it a couple of times, but it was pretty harsh, so I gave it up.) And she is the reason I was an English major.

Pat: What is your major?
Me: I don't know, maybe math?
Pat: Math is hard.
Me: Maybe French?
Pat: Language majors take more time.
Me: Maybe English?
Pat: Good choice.

As I think about the role of sisterhood in the lives of LDS women, I realize that I came to love other women the way I loved my sisters as I lived with these girls for two years at BYU. I was really learning about the sisterhood that is Relief Society, but I didn't know that then. And I'm not sure that the church or BYU even realized the role this played in shaping our future interactions in the church.

Women can be each other's best friends - or worst enemies. And Relief Society provides a divine forum for learning to become one another's best friends.

I will always be grateful for those college years of living, loving, and learning to grow together as women. It was a good training ground!

I felt that our Women's Conference today was a beautiful testimony of growing and learning together as women of God. And it all started way back when!!

Thinking about "Little Women"

We went to Centre Stage Friday night and saw their performance of Little Women. I had seen it at the Pantages a few years ago, and their performance was really just as good - and we had better seats!!


When Annika was born, Ara came to me and said, "Grandma, now we are our own Little Women."


When Harry and I went to Boston one year for the marathon, we went to Concord and visited Orchard House - Louisa May Alcott's home. It was everything I expected it to be. In fact, I kept waiting for Jo to come bounding down the stairs!



And I often think of my 4 lovely daughters as a great group of Little Women.


(I have 5 sisters, so we don't exactly fit the mold, but we like to think that we are a group of Little Women too!!)

So when I came across this photo of the wonderful Burdick sisters, from Eliza's wedding reception, I thought that they certainly qualify as a bona fide Little Women group!!

(And they always look so fashionable and well put together!! They probably don't scorch their party dresses and have to carry one soiled glove all scrunched up!!)

(And that's Desirae McKendrick Badger in the middle!!)

Do we sense a theme here?? I have several aprons to sew by next Saturday - I think I will watch Little Women while I sew!!

"The Way We Were"

All this talk about decades makes me realize that I don't really think in decades. People talk about clothes and music and hairdos and movies and TV shows and frankly, it all kind of blurs for me. I navigate decades the way I navigate period - with landmarks.

For me, clothing is a landmark, not a description of how people dressed. For example, I found this old, rather bad photo in a box of other photos. It has no real markers as to where it was taken. Dad said, "Well, those were my first glasses. That's why they are so big and shiny. And that would be Centerville."

And the salmon-colored dress is one I made at Margaret's School of Custom Dressmaking - also in Centerville. I loved that dress. I loved making it. I loved wearing it. I loved how it made me feel. And I have no idea what I did with it when it quit fitting me - or when I quit wearing it. I was pretty thin until I got pregnant with Eliza. But all my memories of wearing this dress are from Centerville.

And that would be the 70's.

And I usually didn't wear it with this jacket. I had made a lovely floral quilted vest that I usually wore with it. And I don't know what happened to that vest either. What I do know is that I loved how that vest looked so much that I keep trying out wearing vests. Even though they really don't "work" for me anymore.

All this info from one rather bad photo.

The power of the visual!

Food for thought

The photo has little to do with the post - I just like to use photos I haven't used before. This is Christmas time - Eliza could probably tell you the year!!

And since it's a shot of her before her violin recital, it may have something to do with the post.

I googled "Karen Lamb" after Anna May quoted her in the daily "Need to Know," and apparently she dispenses quotes!!

No matter - I like what she said - if indeed she's a woman - she could be a corporation!!

"A year from now you may wish you had started today."

Pretty compelling thought, yes?

"Turn around and you're a young wife . . ."

I come across random photos from the Young Women days. I get very nostalgic. Maybe it's just me, but I remember those years as a wonderful time.

Especially on the heels of having seen some of these same young women - now wives and mothers and returned missionaries - and I hope the work we did with them helped them become the wonderful women they are today.

I know the whereabouts of all of them except Crystal.

A little something to live by:

I continue with my random photo syndrome - but when I found this photo - of our ever-insightful Calvin in August of 2007 - I also found this quote I'd copied down.

"Remember, you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin

Happy Belated Greetings to Richard!!

I don't think I am ever on time wishing Richard a happy birthday!! But then, when your birthday is on a holiday, I guess that is what happens. This is a photo of how the family looked when Richard was the "baby" of the crew. I remember his birth. I remember sitting out on the curb waiting for Dad to come home and tell us about the new baby!!

This is the one and only time I ever went fishing - we went with Richard and Julie - must be '75 or so.

Ah, the famous beach shots from Oxnard!!

This was Dad's funeral in 2000.

And this is the shop - a rite of passage for Clayton males!! (I actually worked there too at times - doing filing, but I didn't get a swell apron!!)

And this is Richard's baby picture. Mom says he was the best baby she had - easygoing and didn't fuss a lot.

Even though the greetings are tardy, they are nonetheless sincere - hope it was a great day - and that the year ahead is the best!!