On July 13th, I wrote a post about our friend Dorothy, who was struggling with cancer. We received an email today that she died morning. She had made it through her daughter's wedding, which was very important to her. The photo is from the wedding day at the temple, showing Dorothy on her gurney with her three grandsons.
Her husband has sent regular emails regarding her condition, and he reported that she was exhausted by all the wedding activities, but grateful that she had been able to be there for her daughter. The doctors had told him that she would rally to meet the occasion, then decline rapidly. That is apparently just how it went.
Her pain had increased and even morphine was not enough. She asked for her children who were out of state to come and say goodbye. She asked for a blessing that she could go in peace, and her family told her it was okay to go - they found it too difficult to see her in so much pain.
Her death apparently was not easy and peaceful - hospice had been there but they were short handed and so Don was alone with her as she struggled to breathe and slowly let go. It was comforting to see her at peace, but just prior to her death the family had been subjected to another tragedy.
Her three young grandsons, who had traveled from Utah with their parents, who wanted to be at Dorothy's bedside, were being cared for by a neighbor. While there, the 2 year old boy accidentally drowned. Don made it to the hospital to give him a blessing, but he did not survive. This happened on Monday and Dorothy died today, Tuesday.
I know the Lord tells us that we are only given as much as we can bear, but in his email, Don said, ". . .this is unbearable." I cannot even imagine such grief.
The family is taking comfort in the knowledge that Jacob and his beloved grandma are probably together, helping one another. Dorothy had expressed concerns about "dying well" and said, "What if I get lost and can't find my way?" Perhaps Jacob is helping her do just that.
On another sad note, Dorothy's mom suffered a massive stroke a few days after the wedding so her sister was staying with her. Neither of them were able to be with Dorothy at the end.
Don concluded his email with these words, and I find them inspiring, "I remain steadfast in Christ, willing to bow to Heavenly Father's will."
My trials are not the same as his - or yours for that matter. But we can all strive to "remain steadfast in Christ" so that our trials will not divide or destroy us.
5 comments:
I was just telling Hannah, after reading this, about one of my best friends from college, whose brother was killed when he was 5 (she was 12). She has said, "Everyone always says they wouldn't be able to get through something like that. But then those things happen, and so you do."
Unfortunately some members of her family have "gotten through" that particular trial, and the ones that ensued, better than others, but I have always admired her as a strong, compassionate, and happy woman despite or because of what she has been through for the past 12 years.
That said . . . I still wonder how I would handle trials like these.
This makes my heart ache. I wonder how do you get through things like this? My prayers are with this family.
The funeral today was very moving - but you could sense that the family was facing a very difficult time - I will post more when I have time. Your prayers can only help them.
i always wonder how our trials are determined. Did we sign up for certain ones in the pre-existence?
Does the Lord need to purify us for future trials or callings?
I always wonder - but my prayers are with this family.
I am so sorry and cannot even understand the grief, heart ache and pain the family is feeling. I don't know how people get through without the Gospel and the great understanding we have of the here after
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