Maybe it was the gray raininess of the day, but when Matt, Eliza and Hannah drove off Sunday, I felt a pang of melancholy! And then when Phoebe, David, Henry and Calvin drove away, I felt lonelier still. By the time Bonny, Bruce and girls left (which was a bit later - but that's a whole other post!) I was feeling a physical ache.
Harry, Dawn and kids then showed up for dinner. Dawn could relate to my feelings of melancholy - she said she always had the same experience when family left or she left from home. So I didn't feel so alone.
After everyone was gone, Dad and I went through the house picking up, putting away, vacuuming, washing dishes, sweeping, mopping, moving furniture back where it belonged, putting futons away, folding bedding, washing clothes, finding lots of little treasures that had been left behind. I thought that should all have been "closure" but I still really "missed" everyone.
Today dawned rainy and cold. I usually don't watch the parade, but Dad and I checked it out for a bit. Maybe it was more interesting in the rain!! Those clear plastic ponchos have a certain panache! Harry showed up with Eve and Porter, and we were still in our p.j.'s and hadn't even eaten breakfast yet. A true holiday morning!
So I started putting Christmas stuff away - not all of it - I didn't feel up to the task - but I did move all the traces of Christmas out of the bathroom, kitchen and bedrooms. Then I cleared off the mantel and the hutch - and put the regular pitchers back.
And Dad made pancakes - from a recipe - a first for him - he said, "Where's the pancake mix?" Since there was none, he did it the old-fashioned way!! (With the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook!)
I started piling up Christmas stuff in the family room and put the Christmas dishes back in their boxes. I packed up the Christmas tee shirts and sweaters and linens. And it kept raining - we had fires in both fireplaces.
As Christmas faded away, I thought about all the things I should have said and done. One of the problems with a large group of people is that sometimes it's hard to have private conversations of any length. Especially if you're the mom in charge. And large groups of people can have "difficult" moments, and we don't always show our best side.
Dad and I talked about what worked and what didn't - now the key is to write it all down and look at it before next year's celebration!
I think we made some positive changes this year - assigning meals was a stroke of genius - thanks to all who did them - they were great! Clocker's Corner, Kidspace, Burminco and tandem bike riding were plusses too. We didn't communicate perfectly, but we did better than other years!
So why the Queen Anne Cottage pix? Maybe it's to say that a house is only a building when no one is in it. A loving family makes it a home. And when some of those family members leave it, they take something with them - something we miss - and when they are back for awhile, we start thinking we've gone back in time. And we have for awhile. And we have to readjust everytime.
But it's worth it - missing you guys, welcoming you back, saying goodbye -and looking forward to the next visit!
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Hey Mom, I understand what you mean too. I told Matt people who get to live near lots of family on both sides don't know how lucky they are! Then again, it's always fun to get together even if it's just a few times a year, and crowded or not, I had a great time.
P.S. Thanks to both you and Dad (and Noah) for being such generous and cheerful hosts!
I thought it turned out to be a great holiday. I can't believe that we can still all get together. So many families are never all together. And it is fun to see my kids having fun with their extended families.
PS I also liked the assigning out of meals. It is fun to see what everyone else makes for dinner. and you don't feel guilty for not chipping in.
ifeel that way all the time. Their and good and bad things about living alone. You can decorate anyway you like, you don't have to pick up after eveyone,even when you tell them a million time. Eat what you like, watch what you like but I sometimes would trade that all in to have them around more often. Which brings me to a point. Eric is coming home for good. He has depression and it was causing some physical effects. So they released him as though he never entered the military. He should be home soon and will live with me again, at least until he decides what direction his life will take. I do not have all the particulars, but someday I may. Life sure does hand us some knocks but we will survive. I really enjoyed my children this christmas to.
I loved having everyone together. And I, too liked the dividing of the meals, and the presidential suite was definitely a bonus.
It was fun to go to the arboretum and clocker's corner. now my kids understand a little better when i get that glazed look in my eye and start to reminisce (i'm sure i'm spelling that wrong)
and i appreciate all your hard work and letting us all invade your formerly peaceful abode. I agree it seemed too short in that i didn't get to sit and chitty-chat the way i use to, but when my kids are older, i'll be more able to do that.
I guess a week of sorting, taking down the tree, putting stuff away, getting Noah to clean his room - maybe I should take photos - it looks great! - finishing my Christmas cards (I did!! for the first time in 20+ years they are done not only before the 1st of July, but before the end of January!!)took the melancholy away - and the cousin Karls popped in for an overnighter too!
But I was thinking, maybe a mid-year thrift stoer scavenger hunt - followed by tandem bike rides? Think about it - maybe we could pull it off!!?? We could even tent in the backyard and pretend we are camping - and every family could fix a dutch oven meal!!
It was great to have all of you here - worth every bit of stress and more!! We love you all more than we could probably put into words - and we're pretty good at putting things into words!!
And Mary - let us know how we can help Eric - we will keep him in our prayers too.
Next year maybe I can do my very own meal, like the grownups do.
P.S. It is reminisce--you're right!
Eliza, the meal consolidation plan came about because there weren't enough nights to go around - and I didn't think we needed to assign lunch and breakfast - but I now think that lunch should be an assignment - even if it just means you're in charge of ordering the pizza!
But the salad was tres magnifique!!
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