The Birth of a Mother

I've been home for almost a week now - and had intended to write this post when I first got home. In fact, I thought about it while waiting for my plane. But life happens when you get home. And this week my life included a few major events like a women's conference, some pivotal IEP meetings and an articulation meeting with the elementary RSP teachers.

But today was an inservice day, so even though I had to go to work, I didn't have to deal with students. That makes life easier! And I thought some more about this post.

What started me thinking today was thinking about Ara's upcoming 10th birthday! Ara made me a grandmother, so I thought about how Bonny made me a mom. There is a process that goes on - and if you are careful and thoughtful, you can see it happening.

I think when Bonny was born, I was overwhelmed by all the tactile forces that come with motherhood. Like Olga Coleman used to say, "I feel like a sponge!" By the time my body got back to normal, I had an infant to care for, so there wasn't a lot of time for reflection. And then motherhood just marched on, and I just took it as it came.

I was so excited to be a grandma and there was lots to do caring for Bonny and Ara - and Bruce too I suppose, although he is pretty self-sufficient. It was the kind of "lots to do" that you love doing. We read and talked and took care of Ara - and snatched naps whenever we could. We weren't too philosophical.

When I came with Ella, Ara was a toddler who needed a lot of time and attention, so we certainly didn't sit around feeling philosophical.

When Henry was born, the emergency c-section added an element of urgency to the situation. Phoebe was a trooper, but she needed to heal, along with all the other stuff that comes with first time motherhood. Needless to say, we didn't spend much time being philosophical.

This time around though, with Eliza, I found myself reflecting on the process of becoming a mother. I noticed many things that either didn't happen with the other girls, or they happened and I didn't notice. For one thing, Matt and I kept trying to get Eliza in to nap - and she resisted. Finally she said, "I don't want to go in the bedroom alone while you're all out here with Theo."

A light bulb went on in my head. This was a mom who had been denied some of the "bonding" moments because of her surgery. She hadn't even changed Theo until he was nearly a week old. She wanted to be with him - not off in the room resting without him. This was a mother coming into being.

And when I started seeing these feelings at play, it became easier to know what to do and say. And it afforded me the opportunity to truly observe the love and devotion Eliza was ready to give this wonderful little boy.

The birth of a mother is really almost as miraculous as the birth of a baby.

Anchored in Christ

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Originally uploaded by grannybabs.

Here is the picture of me with our keynote speaker and the class teachers we had at our Women's Conference on Saturday.

I kept fiddling around and got it to post on flickr anyway.

Saturday night . . .

One of the things that I notice about having Harry, Dawn and kids here is that I'm reminded of my own life a few years ago.

Saturday night is a case in point - Dawn was rolling up Eve's hair in curlers - an activity I was often engaged in on a Saturday night! Actually I have many memories of Saturday night hair rolling from my own childhood - I loved sitting on the floor in front of the couch while my mom either put curlers in my hair - or pin curls - I'm that old!!

This Saturday night featured Dad working on his new computer, Eve and Porter snacking on cookies and milk, Dawn snacking on cookies too, and yours truly sweeping up sand from the laundry room floor! (We had sand on the tables at the Women's Conference - and I took home some of the table cloths to wash - and someone who gathered them up neglected to dump the sand first!! But we're not naming names!!)

After all, Saturday is a special day!

"Each life that touches ours for good . . ."

I had a sweet experience in the temple on Saturday.

A little background though. I have a dear friend in the ward. She was the R.S. President just before me. We are in a book group together. We have traveled to the BYU Women's Conferences together. And we've had lots of great discussions.

While she was R.S. President about 5 years ago, her daughter Marla died a week after giving birth to her 7th child. It was a great shock, and a great loss for Carolyn. I didn't know Marla extremely well, but we exchanged Christmas cards. Marla's daughter Ashley was getting ready to enroll at BYU - which she did.

Ashley got married on Saturday. While I was waiting to finish up the session I was attending, I saw Ashley sitting with her groom and the sealer. I went over and said, "You don't know me, but I was a friend of your mom's and I'm a good friend of your grandma. I want to wish you all the best."

Then the sealer said, "She left their rings in her locker downstairs." So I said, "Would you like me to go get them for you?" And he said, rather enthusiastically, "That would be great if you wouldn't mind."

So I scurried down the spiral staircase to the Bride's Room and the ladies there opened Ashley's locker and we rummaged around and found the rings.

I hustled back to the Celestial Room with my precious cargo - and the bride and groom were genuinely pleased to have their rings.

And I was genuinely pleased to have been of service. The sealer could have very easily asked any temple worker to go get the rings. There are many of them, and they are always anxious to be of service.

But I enjoyed feeling that I was "looking out for Ashley." I enjoyed thinking about Marla and Carolyn - and how I would enjoy telling Carolyn about it.

We try to go to the temple each week. All the issues with Noah seem to derail me mentally and spiritually - a trip to the temple helps. As does fasting, praying, writing letters to Noah and sending him packages.

I hope whoever crosses Noah's path is able to "look out" for him too.