Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite!

So, after spending a week putting Agnes down for naps twice a day, I started thinking about my own babies and their napping and sleeping lore. (We also have Harry and Dawn's kids here for the weekend while they are belatedly celebrating their 8th anniversary and we are having some more "sleeping experiences" - in fact, I'm not sure if Baby Harry is asleep, but I'm pretty sure Dad is - and Dad's holding him! That's how most sleep experiences are that involve Dad. In his defense, he has been working long hard days since we got back from Oregon!)

Bonny was a fussy baby her first few months - but was always a good sleeper! When she got older, she got up very early - we tried putting her to bed later, but she still got up very early, so I opted to have more time to myself in the evening, since it wasn't going to happen in the morning! But after awhile, Dad thought maybe she was hungry and that's what woke her up. She often stood by our bed and intoned, "I am an hungring girl."

So we started leaving her a little snack by her bed, (the bottom half of an old daybed of Helen's which was a great little bed by the way) usually a banana and a piece of bread. And we "spied" on her a few times - it was just as Dad had suspected - she sat up, ate her little snack, and then laid back - didn't fall back to sleep, but was content to rest for a bit longer.

Harry was not fussy at all - in fact, for the first few weeks of his life, Dad would say, "When do you think he will start crying?" He was a good sleeper too - but wanted to give up naps before I wanted him to - so we had a little routine that always worked: He had a small bear my mom had made for him and I would speak in a falsetto voice and say, "Oh, Harry, can I sleep with you. I'm so tired." And Harry would say, "Yes." And promptly lay back, after patting a spot on the bed for Bear to use - and he usually fell asleep.

I think he's still a pretty good sleeper!!

Phoebe had a habit of getting up after she was toilet trained - she'd walk the length of the house on Lime to get to our room and tell us it was too dark for her to find the bathroom! I started telling her, "Go tell Dad." And she did!! Then he'd say to me the next morning, "Boy, Phoebe's really been getting up a lot at night." (The irony here is that she walked right by both bathrooms to come tell us it was too dark to find the bathrooms.

So Dad made a little trail of night lights leading to the bathroom and that took care of that. She too was a good sleeper.

Eliza, shown here holding baby Maddy, was the first of our kids to sleep in a "real" crib. I worried that somehow she wouldn't do as well - I was convinced that rolling into the mesh of a portacrib was a very comfy way to sleep - but she did fine. She slept well as long as you followed a set routine. I think she's still that way! She loved stories and always wanted lots of them. She has the distinction of sleeping well the first 3 weeks - prompting me to think that I could just jump back into my old routine - and then at 3 weeks, "woke up" and acted more like a newborn!! But everyone thought I was all recuperated, so I had some long, solo days - at least the kids were all in school then!

The moral of this story - even if your baby is Wonder Baby, still act like an invalid for as long as you can!!

Hannah slept with casts and a Dr. Brown Splint - and did fine, in spite of all my worries. And her portacrib was in Harry's room - along with his aquarium - and it never failed to put her to sleep. All the time she lived under our roof, she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow!

Noah was a good sleeper - although now he claims that he has trouble falling asleep at night - and says he's been that way his whole life. Maybe his whole teen/young adult life, but not his kid life!

He has the distinction of being present for many late - night- home from dates - activities - conversations I had with Bonny - I'd be up with him for a late night feeding and Bonny would come in - it was a good experience.

So now I guess I will go and wake up Dad - so he can go to bed! And hope that it doesn't wake up Baby Harry when I do so!!

More ruminating

This past year has been one of loss - maybe it's the season of life I am in, but it seems like I am more aware of death and tragedy. And it seems like starting with Jim's death last year, there were so many deaths that I was aware of.

Some were older people who were ready to die, but their deaths were a loss nonetheless. A friend from long ago died, a young woman I taught as a Beehive died a tragic death related to alcohol, a good friend's son died young, a favorite aunt of mine died after a brief struggle with dementia, a young boy in our ward who had been severely disabled died somewhat suddenly, an older sister I had interacted with quite a bit when I was Relief Society president died and we were needed to put a service together for her. The losses seemed to pile up -more than I remembered from past years.

And now I am not so much hearing about deaths, but tragic illnesses and accidents. A young daughter of friends of Phoebe has been diagnosed with leukemia, a young couple (who I only know about through blogging) with 4 small children was severely burned in a plane crash last weekend, couples I know are separating - some of them young who don't seem to know better and some of them old enough to know better!! (I don't mean to be judgemental here, but sometimes I think we live in a throwaway world and people sometimes think of marriage as expendable.)

And so I think I shouldn't complain about the hours Harry keeps when he's in the middle of a job, or the amount of work it's going to take to get my classroom in shape, or the weeds in the garden, or the closets that have not been reorganized (were they ever organized??), or the solictors who knock on my door, or the phone calls that come when I'm trying to take a nap or read a book, or the paint job the house needs that I don't see happening any time soon, or the price of gas, or the hassle it is to get subs for my temple assignment, or just going to work each day!!

Instead I should celebrate the opportunity I have to serve others, the fact that we have a house we can call home, the wonderful husband who loves me, the car I have to drive when I need it, the friends who are so willing to listen to me, the great kids and grandkids I have the pleasure of being with very often, the beautiful flowers and trees that line the streets of my town, and the job I have that pays well and is actually not a bad job at all.

Why does it take sorrow and sadness to refocus our thinking?

Late night ruminations

I am working at the temple this week on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday day and Friday night and Saturday day. It sounded like a good idea when I set it up last May!! (I am paying back the woman who worked for me when we went to South America in July - and also working our regular 3rd weekend shift.)

And it sounded like fun for H and I to spend some time alone - well, we are alone a lot, but time alone where the phone wouldn't interrupt us and we wouldn't be bothered about all the undone projects that you see when you are at home.

But like many goood ideas, life got in the way. The job Harry is winding up has not gone along in an extremely timely manner - so he is working the day shift at the temple and then going and working nights with Noah on the job.

Hannah and Robbie came in tonight - I went to LAX to pick them up - got in the bus lane - freaked Hannah out I guess!! So we enjoyed a little late night dinner and conversation before I took them to their own personal temple apartment to spend the night - and then I will take them back to LAX for their flight to Hawaii and then on to Kwajelin - I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong.

So I'm trying to enjoy this alone time that doesn't include Harry. A bit of reading, a bit of snacking, a bit of blogging, a bit of walking, a bit of working on my talk for Sunday, a bit of catch up with my correspondene - guess I shoud head to bed for a bit of sleeping.

For those of you who think it gets simpler when your kids get older - it doesn't.

For those of you who think working at the temple is a piece of cake, it's work. (Albeit work certainly worth doing!!)

For those of you who think being alone is a drag - it can be, but sometimes it's a little treat.

For those of you who think the temple apartments aren't very glamorous - they aren't. But the weather here is lovely, and once the lights are out and you're lying there enjoying the coastal breeze, it really doesn't matter that it's not glamorous.

For those of you who think the best meal is one you didn't have to fix yourself, that can be true. But sandwiches and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies make a great late supper. Even if you fix it yourself. (And Hannah made the sandwiches tonight!!)

For those of you who always take the freeway, taking Sepulveda to LAX is way easier. (at least when you are coming from the LA Temple.)

For those of you who think space equals luxury, it doesn't always. A tiny, cozy apartment can seem luxurious - no thanks to me - we are using an actual couple's apartment, so they have "cozied" it up already.

For those of you who are tired of reading this, I'm getting tired of writing too - so buenas noches, as we say en espanol!!

Advice

So, I was reading a friend's blog, and she was offering parental advice. And she referred to another post where she had also given advice. Maybe this is a blogging thing - lists or bullets - maybe because it gives people something specific to comment on.

Much of it was very good advice that I happened to agree with. I disagreed with some of it. That's what keeps life interesting though.

I have been asked to speak in two different ward sacrament meetings with our Stake President. My topic: Keeping Marriages Strong.

So I have actually been asking people what they think keeps a marriage strong. But most of their answers have not been fodder for a sacrament meeting talk.

Seems like parental advice is easier to give and respond to than marital advice. Maybe more is at stake. Maybe it's just too personal. Maybe no one really knows the answers.

So here's some parental advice from me. (I'm usually loathe to give that kind of advice - since my kids are pretty well grown and people can actually see how the advice came out!!)

But I hang out with my grandkids a lot - and I'm around other kids. But mostly I teach middle school, and I can really see what a lot of parents have not done!!

There's nothing wrong with packing lunches and fixing breakfast for your kids - it's a pretty slick way to show them how much you care about them. My mom and my dad fixed breakfast and lunches all the time for us kids - at least when I was growing up - there was something steadying about knowing my world was so well ordered.

If you get a sleeping bag for your kids to sleep in, you can even do away with the bottom sheet.

Good shoes do make a difference. So do good haircuts.

Turn the T.V. and video games off on week nights - trust me on this one. T.V. and video games are ruining the school experience of countless kids. Your kid may do fine with it - but you won't know until it's too late. I'm seeing the impact of a "visual" world on kids in the classroom - they can't connect unless it's visual.

Read to your kids - I think the world has recognized this one - it has become de riguer (that's a French phrase and I'm pretty sure I'm spelling it wrong.) So be sure you are enjoying it - and not just doing it because you have to. Kids can spot a phony.

Don't sign your kids up for stuff they say they don't want to do - and don't suggest it if they don't ask - but be prepared for them to refute all that when they are older - it will then be your fault that they didn't get to do it.

The best advice of all though, came from my mom, mother of 12, shown above with her first 4 kids - (I'm the tow-headed one with ringlets on the right) - who said, "Never do anything when your kids are asleep that you can do when they are awake."