So, I was reading a friend's blog, and she was offering parental advice. And she referred to another post where she had also given advice. Maybe this is a blogging thing - lists or bullets - maybe because it gives people something specific to comment on.
Much of it was very good advice that I happened to agree with. I disagreed with some of it. That's what keeps life interesting though.
I have been asked to speak in two different ward sacrament meetings with our Stake President. My topic: Keeping Marriages Strong.So I have actually been asking people what they think keeps a marriage strong. But most of their answers have not been fodder for a sacrament meeting talk.
Seems like parental advice is easier to give and respond to than marital advice. Maybe more is at stake. Maybe it's just too personal. Maybe no one really knows the answers.
So here's some parental advice from me. (I'm usually loathe to give that kind of advice - since my kids are pretty well grown and people can actually see how the advice came out!!)
But I hang out with my grandkids a lot - and I'm around other kids. But mostly I teach middle school, and I can really see what a lot of parents have not done!!
There's nothing wrong with packing lunches and fixing breakfast for your kids - it's a pretty slick way to show them how much you care about them. My mom and my dad fixed breakfast and lunches all the time for us kids - at least when I was growing up - there was something steadying about knowing my world was so well ordered.
If you get a sleeping bag for your kids to sleep in, you can even do away with the bottom sheet.
Good shoes do make a difference. So do good haircuts.
Turn the T.V. and video games off on week nights - trust me on this one. T.V. and video games are ruining the school experience of countless kids. Your kid may do fine with it - but you won't know until it's too late. I'm seeing the impact of a "visual" world on kids in the classroom - they can't connect unless it's visual.
Read to your kids - I think the world has recognized this one - it has become de riguer (that's a French phrase and I'm pretty sure I'm spelling it wrong.) So be sure you are enjoying it - and not just doing it because you have to. Kids can spot a phony.
Don't sign your kids up for stuff they say they don't want to do - and don't suggest it if they don't ask - but be prepared for them to refute all that when they are older - it will then be your fault that they didn't get to do it.
The best advice of all though, came from my mom, mother of 12, shown above with her first 4 kids - (I'm the tow-headed one with ringlets on the right) - who said, "Never do anything when your kids are asleep that you can do when they are awake."
4 comments:
amen to good haircuts and shoes - that applies to all people.
i do need to get better about fixing breakfast and lunches - we do all eat together - but i figure everyone is old enough to prepare their own.
and i enjoy reading to my children, but probably don't make enough time to do it - esp now that ara and ella and esme' can read.
but i disagree with signing kids up for stuff - i think all kids should be in at least one sport at all times. esp with the increase in depression - athletes don't get depressed - those endorphins help a lot.
and i think you guys are excellent parents.
You do remember that when I asked you about organized sports, you told me you didn't want to do it - you didn't like the competition aspect - you thought some people made other people feel bad when they goofed up.
But you did take a lot of swimming lessons!
for my children it's like church or school or piano - you have to go and try it - and then if you don't like it, then we'll discuss it. my children have a say in what sports they want to try, and dance is included as a sport.
i also realize that the athletic world is much more accessible than it was in my day (do i sound fogeyish enough?). and i also realize that now, at least in our community, sports and other activities are my children's social life - so they crave more sports and activities. i think we do pretty well balancing it all, but every once in a while it gets hectic.
I have prepared breakfast and lunches now for about 35 years and I really like to do it. I makes me feel that I have helped them to have a better day. I simply don't like eating out.
I have made my kids do music with mixed results but they can never say that I didn't try to help them to discover whatever latent musical talent that they might have had. We did some sports but that was with the schools when they were older and it was their choice and their business to get themselves there. I did go to all the meets whenever they were within range.
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