Grandmothering

This is an old photo of me in 1977 when I was pregnant with Phoebe. I was 32 years old, and certainly I never imagined being 65 and having 14 grandchildren.

And here I am, 33 years later, spending my days and nights mothering Phoebe and grandmothering the others!

I love being a grandmother. It's much more satisfying and rewarding than I ever imagined it could be. I love my own children, and I enjoy being a mother. But somehow being a grandmother just pulls it all together and makes it all fit nicely.

As the numbers grew, I began to worry about the fact that I see some of my grandkids much more often than I do the others. I try to send cards, little gifts, letters. We have done some Skyping - but I think the adults enjoy that more than the kids do.

But two weeks ago, while we were at Matt and Eliza's, I noticed that Theo and Ida took to us quite readily. Eliza does try to keep pictures of us in front of them, talks about us, and generally does a good job of keeping us in the picture.

But I think what's at work is a cumulative effect. In other words, if you try to make the minutes count, they will. If you do your best to connect with the children, talk to them, play with them, spend time with them, it will register with them. Most importantly though, I believe it stays with them. And then the next time you come, you can start literally building the relationship from where you left off.

As I sat a dinner tonight and last night with Henry, Calvin, and Agnes, we were all very comfortable. The last time we were together was April, and before that it had been Christmas, but the transition seemed almost seamless.

Calvin did say, the morning after I arrived, "I wish your husband could have come." But I'm pretty sure that he knows my husband is his grandfather!!

It was comforting to figure this all out!!