A moment in time -

Since Bonny looks to be about 2, this must be 1972.  She is shown here on the porch at Lyn and Roseann's house in Orem.  That is Chris next to her, and Roseann next to him.  Lyn is at the door.

She was certainly a towhead!!

The Ever-fashionable Miss Bonny - with a Y!

I joke around about Bonny being a style maven at a very young age - but it is the truth.  In retrospect, I can see that what she was wearing was always important to her.  As a very young child, she was willing to go with my choices.  At the tender age of 3, she set the ground rules - and those included the dictum that she would choose - and if it itched or didn't "feel" just right, she could not be persuaded to wear it!

I sewed a lot for her.  For awhile, she could not be persuaded to go with anything other than what the pattern showed on the envelope.  If the dress she wanted was shown in red and white gingham, she could not be persuaded to have it in any other color!  She came to understand the limitations of that approach and could later be persuaded to search for other choices!  But she often preferred what they showed it in on the pattern!

There are a number of photos of her as a not-quite-two-year-old - who was still willing to go with my choices - in this particular combination of 70's era crocheted poncho and a Peruvian hat!!  She would laugh when the hat fell down over her eyes!!

The saddle shoes were my choice!!

I think every first child deserves a medal for surviving their parents' efforts at becoming parents!!

At the close of Bontober!!

We do have a family full of folks born in October - but only one who celebrates Bontober - with such vim and verve too!!

So let me just say Happy Bontober to you - it's been a good month - hope the memories last all year!!

What we do best -

Today I attended the funeral services for Anne Andrus, Bonny and Bruce's good friend and a member of their ward.  She had battled cancer for two years, but the battle ended last Tuesday with her untimely death.  Bonny's girls have been with me this week while she and Ella traipsed about Amsterdam and Paris, so I drove them out to the funeral this morning.

It was a beautiful service - I will write more when I'm not so tired and worn out from driving too and from Malibu - in Saturday traffic, it can be quite mind-numbing!!  But as I walked the halls looking to gather up the girls to drive them home, I looked in the kitchen at the Relief Society sisters - and an able priesthood brother - as they toiled away making sure that the funeral luncheon was moving along smoothly.

This funeral luncheon was a bit different - no ham and funeral potatoes here!  Tom, Anne's husband, announced at the end of his eulogy, that there was a luncheon after and he wanted everyone to stay because they were serving 4 of Anne's favorites - she wanted everyone to enjoy being together!  

There was Thai, Indian, and Vietnamese food - and Dominoe's Pizza!  It was great food, and everyone granted Anne her wish and enjoyed the food and fellowship that comes when we break bread together.  Part way into the afternoon, the family gathered everyone together to view a video that Anne had prepared.  She spoke of her children and her husband and her great love for them.  She ended with her testimony of eternal life and the knowledge that families are indeed forever.  It was very moving and touched many hearts.

Meanwhile the women of the ward were moving efficiently and mostly silently in the background.  Water pitchers got refilled, food was dished up and replenished as it became scarce, and used plates, cups and napkins were whisked away.  Needs were being met by the good women of Palisades Ward.  Just as they had helped and served Anne and her family for the last two years as she struggled with the challenge of her illness, the women were coming together this final time to make sure all was in order for their dear friend and sister.

I thought about how constant this quality is throughout the church.  I have never been to an LDS funeral that did not have able and loving sisters working hard behind the scenes to make that final act of service for the departed sister or brother.  What a great blessing to be able to serve one another one last time!  What a great blessing to be able to serve!

Having Babies - And All That Entails!

We were in SLC this Saturday for Aunt Virginia's funeral. As we visited with her children, especially her daughter Susan and her daughters Julie and Stacy, I was reminded of my baby shower before Bonny was born.

My good friend and old roommate Joy was the hostess, and Susan and Virginia came for the occasion. (Harry had rented a room from Virginia before we were married, so we had gotten to know her better - and her children also.)

Joy and I in September of 1970 at the baby shower for me.

Susan had given birth to her first child just 3 months earlier, and she seemed to spend most of the evening regaling everyone with all the horrific details of her recent birth experience. I know that there were other women there who had given birth before, but I don't remember them even contradicting Susan. If they did, maybe I didn't hear them!!

Susan wasn't obnoxious. She was actually somewhat humorous in her delivery. (Pardon the pun!!)
You really have to know her, but it was vintage Susan - at least I see that now. But I was somewhat unnerved by the information she was presenting. I had grown up around babies, as the oldest of 12 I had seen pregnancy, birth, and nursing first hand. But my mom didn't "discuss it," she just did things a certain way and I assumed that was the way it was for everyone.

I didn't have a horrible experience, but it was not exactly what I was expecting. (Pardon this pun too!) I mostly think I could have been better prepared. Frances had given me a book about the Lamaze method, and I read it avidly. However, without others who were buying into that process, it didn't do me much good that first time. Th second time I gave birth, I was able to have a better experience because I knew what to ask for.

I also was not given any pain meds - so I guess I had a "natural birth." However, just because you don't have pain meds, it doesn't mean you had a natural birth! Back then - and you realize I'm practically talking about the dark ages - and they probably had better experiences in the dark ages because women supported one another totally in the birth process - the "drug" of choice was a cervical block. But a cervical block couldn't be given until you had reached a certain point in the dilation process. I was not even close to that point. When I finally got close, it was too late because I dilated all at once apparently. So no meds for me.

With subsequent births, I wasn't even particularly offered anything - probably because I was a slow dilater every time - with a fast final dilation "all at once." With Eliza and Hannah's births I finally experienced a sense of control and participation in the birth process. That certainly helped make Noah's birth - though a slow, tedious labor - not nearly as wearing as it might have been had I not known what was going on.

A baby shower for me in November of 1970, after Bonny was born. I'm the one in the floral dress next to the very blonde woman - who was my visiting teaching companion, by the way!!

I have often thought that it's too bad women get into "camps" about issues relating to birth and feeding and toileting and sleeping and all the other aspects of life with children - getting them here and getting them where we want them to be. I'm not sure why this has to be.

And we certainly shouldn't scare one another!

And scaring doesn't just mean telling horror stories!

Random memories

This photo is from April of 1973. We had driven from Provo to Arizona for Charlie and Jeanette's wedding. Then on to California for the reception.

We stopped in South Pasadena to visit the Linebacks - Kay and I went to Grenoble together and taught together at BYU.

And then a few years later, there we were practically neighbors - how delightful.

And then Steve joined the Navy as a chaplain and they've been traveling over the world ever since!!

Just a random memory triggered when I found this photo at the bottom of a box!!

"Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!!"

Is that what a baby says in a Santa sleeper? Not likely. Found this photo in the box of pics Mom gave me to sort through.

It's obviously December of 1970 - we drove down in a little VW bug - had a carbed for Bonny on our laps as we sat in the back seat. Kinda scrunched up we were!!

It was a long trip. But worth it just to see the look of pure joy on Leslie's face when she pulled back the blanket to see Bonny for the first time!

And I remember Dad "walking the floor" with Bonny when she was fussy, assuring us all that he was a pro at this. And indeed he was!

Christmas and good memories do seem to go together!!

Happy Birthday Bonny!

I don't think I've made Bonny a birthday cake in a long while. So it was fun, in between conference sessions, to bake and decorate a cake for her!!

These aren't exactly the china Hallmark Birthday Girls, but they are pretty cute!

I made a cake for Ella too, and we had a dual celebration. Bonny said that we were celebrating her last day of being 38!!

Here's a long ago shot - as in 32 years ago - that's how old Phoebe is this year!!

It's Bonny and Bruce - when Bonny turned 30 and celebrated with a Prom of her own.

Bonny the Mom - and a great mom she is - here with Ara - sometime last year I think.

The October Birthday Girls - minus Ida - we need to do a group shot - will Ida call her birthday month Idtober??

Have a wonderful year Bonny - you deserve it!!

More on Bontober and Octphoeber

There are not lots of photos of just Bonny - seems like we always photographed a group!! This is summer of 1973 - and our first garden!!

Phoebe was like an "only" child in some ways - and trundled around with me while Bonny and Harry were in school. We often hung out with Grandma and Grandpa Clayton.


Another shot of Bonny and Phoebe. Phoebe's hair was just like Bonny's had been - but she wasn't a towhead!

I wonder what it would be like if I had pictures of myself holding Donna and Leslie - because I certainly have memories of "tending" them.

Guess those memories will have to suffice for now - until they have cameras that can take the pictures in your mind!