The week winds down . . .

We always raised our children with the knowledge that we were raising them "up and away."  I knew full well that it was important for our children to make lives of their own as they grew and matured. 

 I might not have been this way on my own.  Harry was the one who kept pointing out the ways I was trying to "hang on to" our kids rather than encouraging them to become more independent.  

I would probably not have started them driving when they were 14 with turns around the Santa Anita Racetrack parking lot.  I would probably not have left a 16 year old to tend 4 of the kids while Harry and I had a weekend away - we took baby Noah, but it still was a weekend away!!  I would probably not have gotten an old station wagon for Bonny to drive so she could go to stake dances on her own.  I would probably not have given her a checking account of her own so she could shop for us.

But we did do all of those things - and I think our kids are better and more prepared for real life than some are.  They all did not respond in the same way, but they were all given opportunities to grow and maybe even make mistakes!!

I guess I did not think early on about how it would be when all the kids were grown "up and away."  It did not become obvious for quite some time. When you have 6 children whose birthdays span 17 years, you aren't suddenly in the throes of an empty nest.

As a matter of fact, Bonny got married and "left the nest," but it was 8 more years before someone else left the nest to get married anyway.  Harry left for school, then left on a mission, but returned home pretty regularly.

After Phoebe's marriage, it was 2 more years before Harry married.  Then it was another 5 years before Eliza married and left home.  Prior to that she had been gone to school and Austria, but she always returned home for summers and holidays.  That doesn't count as "leaving the nest."

Soon enough, though, Hannah and Noah were out on their own.  Hannah got married 5 years ago, and Noah essentially has lived on his own for 6 or 7 years.  (He does return often to raid the refrigerator and do laundry, but that is almost welcome in our now-quiet household!)

Everyone seems to come for the holidays though.  Over time it has evolved into a Terrill Family Celebration for New Year's, but they all come.  And a few years ago - when there were not as many as there are now - I found myself feeling very lonely and melancholy when the last car drove away after the holiday.  It was a distinctive feeling of loss and sadness, a feeling that I was not used to.

I still feel that - and I feel it at just about any ending.  Even a brief visit finds me with a twinge of sadness when it ends.  I discussed with the psychologist at my school, and she assured me it was a normal, natural kind of reaction.  And she recommended movement, any kind of movement.  She said go for a walk, go to the store and walk up and down the aisles, change the sheets, gather up the wash, fold clothes - all the kinds of things you really need to do after a visit anyway!!

So I'm leaving making up the bed in the guestroom until we come back from the airport after taking Hannah there tonight.  She has been here for over a week, and we have had a lovely time.  We have gone swimming, gone to the beach, eaten at In 'n Out and Market Grill, gone to the Hollywood Bowl, enjoyed a game at Dodger Stadium, visited Grandma Mary and Grandma Helen, visited with Harry, Dawn, and family and Bonny and family, taken over the living room and sewed up a storm.  There isn't too much we haven't packed into this week.

I'm sure to feel a bit sad to see her leave.  I do already.  Making the bed up, unloading the dishwasher, folding some laundry - I think I'll make it!!