Sunday Night Thoughts

Past Relief Society Presidents of Monrovia and Monrovia East and 2nd Wards - Spring, 2005 I want to say - but I could be wrong.
Margaret Miramontes, Jennefer Zepeda, Christy Lewis, Joan Zerbel, Sue Cornwall, Barbara Terrill
Donna Hanke, Eileen Vocelka Cranmer, Carolyn Maxwell, Shirley Heslop

When I was a child, we drove long distances to go to church. And it was Priesthood in the morning, then Sunday School, then home again for dinner and a nap, and then back to church for Sacrament meeting. Lots of random memories come to mind: getting ice on the way home from Sunday School, a big reinforced paper bag full of ice - so we could go home and crank homemade ice cream; fried chicken, a roast, meatloaf, roasted chicken - one of these always with potatoes and gravy - not much variety - except when we had the much-hated lima beans; the Sunday LA Times - spread all over the floor - trying to get the part you wanted before someone else dominated it; cutting out paper dolls with Alice; going to visit Grandma Clayton's grave at the Inglewood Cemetery and seeing the grave nearby that had an actual photograph on it - it always intrigued us; visiting Grandma and Grandpa Stevens or visiting Grandma and Grandpa Clayton or visiting Uncle Paul or Uncle Ted; occasionally having visitors to our house; sitting on the front porch with Judy Vergine contemplating the return to school on Monday.

In college, Sunday was quite different. The 3 hour schedule was not church-wide then, but that's what we did at BYU - we had Sunday School and Priesthood/Relief Society in one block. Then we came back for Sacrament meeting. We often had boys over for dinner. Lots of girls got calls from their families on Sunday. You could go visit in the boys' dorms on Sunday. There were lots of firesides. And I tried not to do homework on Sunday.

Once we were married, Sunday was this wonderful day with no work and no school. Neither one of us ever had a busy calling, so we could truly rest and spend the day together. We didn't do much - at least I don't remember doing much. It's a brief little interlude in our lives that truly seems bucolic upon reflection. Maybe it wasn't that good - but I remember it that way.

Once we had children, Sunday took on a different tone. We early on decided that we'd stay home together on Sundays, so there was no going to play or having others over to play. That meant I had to keep everyone entertained. Sometimes I fell to the task with lots of enthusiasm. Other times I was just frustrated - especially once Harry started having busy callings that kept him away. I guess you'd have to ask my kids how they remember it - my memories might be skewed!!

Often on Conference Sundays in Utah, we would take a drive to listen to Conference on the radio. Or we'd go out to visit Alice and Dale. During the Utah years, Dad and I got into the habit of watching Masterpiece Theater on Sunday night at 9. Lots of good stuff: The Pallisers, Danger UXB, Upstairs/Downstairs. We remember those nights with great fondness.

The move to California meant we were much closer to family, so Sunday often meant visiting or eating meals with family in El Monte, or Corona, or Granada Hills. It meant going to blessings, and baptisms, and missionary farewells and homecomings for family and friends. We still "stayed in" on Sundays, but it wasn't quite so tough to keep everyone engaged.

I do recall feeling frustrated that I never got to do the many "good" things that were suggested for Sabbath observance - napping, reading, writing letters, writing family histories, visiting teaching - seemed like the kids used up my time - once again Harry was in busy callings that kept him away. As Bonny and Harry got older, they were involved in Sunday meetings, activities, firesides - that took them away too - so it was me and the little kids once more! Often at the end of the day, I wondered why I bothered - the Sabbath didn't seem to be very "fulfilling" for me. Then I read an article in the Ensign that suggested that you not even plan for yourself. The author said that as soon as she acknowledged that she wasn't going to have time to sit and read or write letters on Sunday, the day got better. There was time during the week when kids were in school to do those things. I found that I could just turn the day over to being with the children and it all got better - most times anyway.

As all the kids got older, at least the pressure to keep kids gainfully occupied lessened. Soon everyone was busy - it was nice to gather for a meal. My main frustrations involved getting Harry to come home at dinner time - I kept pointing out to him that 4 to 6 was family time in our stake - but tell that to the missionaries who scheduled baptisms then or families who planned open houses and other events at that time or auxiliary leaders who planned meetings for that time. He certainly wouldn't tell them!!

Pretty soon I started having "busy" callings and my Sundays filled up too. It seems to have been that way for many years now. There aren't kids to entertain or manage while Harry is at meetings, but there are meetings for me to attend, and agendas to write and programs to plan and people to visit.

Now, our Sundays are fairly routine - since we are the only ward in the building, you'd think we could change our schedule now and then - but it never happens. We go to church from 9 to 12. Harry goes to his scripture reading with his Gospel Essentials class at 1:30. We have dinner with Harry and Dawn and family and Greg and others around 4:30 or 5. The grandkids seem easy to entertain and keep happy. Sometimes the girls call. Sometimes we have the grandmas over - and Aunt Donna too. Sometimes we go out to Malibu or GH.

And then it's 9 p.m. and I'm cleaning up and getting ready to head back to school - the weekend feels far too short. Funny how 20 years ago it seemed too long - seemed like the kids would never get back in school!

I'm sure a long, lonely Sunday would be tough to deal with. I know I am fortunate to have people who are an integral part of my life. Sometimes when we travel and have a Sunday all to ourselves, Harry and I aren't quite sure what to do with ourselves!!

But we usually figure something out!